Higher Than I

 Today was a topsy turvy day. I paid off my direct student loans from college [twelve years in the making].  I accepted a job offer to serve as a site coordinator for a summer course offered by my job.  I worked out for the first time in months.  -but- I am also chin deep in report writing.  I felt lonely today. 

I have been reading Get Out of Your Head by Jennie Allen.  Along with reading the book, I loosely have participated in an online bible study via Proverbs 31 for this text. Last night I overheard a lady on the live bible study say, the thoughts that we fixate on over and over again often indicate what is our idol. 

 SN: I had a random thought recently that I'd like to write a book or support young people with navigating life's obstacles with a Christian perspective. I am not sure what this book would be specifically about, or when it would go into publication (hardeeharhar) but who knows... maybe one day I can compile my nuggets of wisdom and share them with other believers.  Something that I dislike about friendships in general, is that we do not always reveal what we are REALLY struggling with. We have fun, we travel and laugh together. We share tiktok videos and memes. But how often do we really share are heart. Our struggles. Our confusions? I am in that season right now and I feel so alone. I am dating in a committed relationship. We are preparing for marriage. And my thoughts have me feeling batshit crazy half the time. Yet I do not feel like I have anyone to turn to. The majority of my friends are single; and the few that are married are not necessarily believers OR talking about t

  When I applied to be a Consulting Teacher in January 2020, I wrote in my cover letter that my coaching philosophy would be to coach with grace. At the time I had just finished reading Lead with Grace by Jessica Cabeen, and I strongly felt that "coaching with grace" meant I would be authentic and personable; would build relationships with teachers and stakeholders; and would lead by example in communicating with every person I met. I articulated that I hoped to collaborate with people who have different backgrounds, teaching beliefs and styles, and to positively impact student learning and achievement. I wanted to provide teachers with a safe place to express their concerns and show their vulnerability; and I wanted to build trust and support teachers with thinking through a situation, strategizing and coming up with solution.  I could not tell you present day why THIS struck me as what my coaching philosophy should be; but after walking through this academic school year, I

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for being a God that cares about every single huge and tiny desire that is on my heart. This year, I am believing that You are working in me and in my spouse. This year God, I pray that You divinely orchestrate events that will allow me to meet the person that You have for me . Give me the wisdom and courage to properly position myself in places that honor my request; help me to move beyond my comfort zone. God, I am praying for a good, faithful man after Your Heart. I pray that He aspires to love me like You do. Send me to the man who is already praying for me. Help my faith in my season of waiting . I thank You in advance for all that You have for me in this New Year. I put the statistics aside, and I choose to believe in You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Oh heavenly Father, I’m at a crossroads. I have decisions to make, and I’m unsure. Many voices shout out telling me, “Do this. Do that!” Confusion and doubt are everywhere. So I go to your presence, and I seek your holy will. Give me clarity, oh Lord. Reveal to me your plan. Remove my fears and desires. Give me a clean, honest heart so I can open up completely to receive your Spirit and Word. Show me, oh Lord, that it all begins with belief. Belief that God came as man to die for my sins. Belief in the Resurrection, as your Spirit gives life, and God is love. From this eternal truth let my search for direction begin. Send me your Word, oh Lord, and in your will may I get closer to you. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. For this is the will of my Father, that every one who sees the Son and believes in him should have eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:40 And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, inter